If You Leave
by KayRich13
Summary: You know there's no way you can lose him, you'll do anything to get him back.
1. Chapter 1

"_If you leave, don't leave now. Please don't take my heart away, promise me just one more night. Then we'll go our separate ways."_

_I_ _could feel his arms around me, his body_ _pressed against mine as we lie there together in the darkness of night. I shift and turn to face him, to look into his eyes. As I turn, he fades, his form completely gone. The only thing left is the cold empty darkness, and that's all…._

I slowly awoke. It took me only a mere fraction of a second to realize that I was dreaming again. "_And only dreaming." _I reminded myself.

That's what I told myself at first, was that they were just dreams, and nothing more. These dreams had begun to play into mind once Carl had left; at first they were chaste, sweet, and simple. They were just small simple things, like, lying beside him on his couch, holding his hand, or kissing him even.

It wasn't until that fateful day that I helped him pack, that things in my mind changed quickly, all because of one piece of clothing.

"_That was the one I was wearing when I first met you."_

When I heard those words I melted, my heart strings being pulled as tight as could be. From that night forward, my dreams were rapidly becoming less and less innocent. These were the kind of fantasies that women can only dream, the kind of cheesy perfect ones that can only be seen in the pages of a romance novel.

Like the stories, I envision his perfectly toned body before me. He, with lustful sparkling eyes looking deep into mine and ever so softy whispering against the shell of my ear that he loves me, as we come together in the dim moonlit glow of the night.

As I lie there in pale sheets that had been dampened due to the sticky heat of summer, I thought about Will. I thought about how he was going off both to fulfill and live out his lifelong dream on the stage of Broadway, and how he had something that I simply lacked, and that, was courage.

I began to wonder if my dreams had aspirations behind them, or if they were just lust fulfilling. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes and I thought about everything that had been happening between us over the past few months. Everything from sweet smiles, to stolen glances, to meaningless conversation, but most importantly, the way we would look at each other.

It was a long meaningful gaze that would come about when there was silence, when there was simply nothing left for us to say. In his eyes I could see the spark that had been missing. Every time I saw that little glimmer, the strings of my heart would pull so tight I thought they would snap, and ever so slowly, I could feel my old feelings for him reaching the surface.

Clearly, I could now see that my feelings for Will so much more than lustful, and they always had been. I knew that he was leaving tomorrow, and I knew that this was something that he had to do, but I couldn't let him leave without knowing, knowing that I loved him.

/

I stood at his door knocking, waiting for him to answer.

He swung it open, duffle bag in hand, shocked to see me standing there.

"Em, what are you doing here, what's wrong?" he asked, his shining hazel eyes full of concern.

"I have to tell you something" I mumbled flushed with embarrassment, looking in the direction of the floor.

Without a single word, he gently lifted my chin with his index finger, so that my eyes met his, motioning for me to tell him.

I took a deep breath, "I've been thinking….about you…and me…us. I'm so confused; I don't even know what we are…" I let out a sigh of frustration, "What I'm trying to say is that…I lo-…."

Before I could even finish my sentence, his lips were crushed against mine. As he pulled me inside, I wrapped my arms around his neck and began running my fingers though his soft curls. My heart was soaring, this had felt amazing, and I was content to stay like this for the rest of my life. His hands came up to cradle my neck, and I began to nipping at his bottom lip. Suddenly, I felt him pull away slowly, I froze.

"I can't do this Em, not this way" he whispered softly, his forehead pressed to mine.

My heart was shattered within a matter of seconds; I pushed him away and ran out the door before he even had the chance to utter another word.

I couldn't believe it; I couldn't believe him, after everything.

**More?**


	2. Chapter 2

"_I touch you once, I touch you twice. I won't let go at any price…."_

I ran to my car as fast as I possibly could, his words rang so loud in my ears that I couldn't even think. I still couldn't believe them; I thought that he loved me. "_I guess I waited too long." _ I thought to myself. Tears slowly escaped my eyes as I realized that this was my fault. I was the one who had been in denial, the one who fought their true feelings, ignoring every possible sign. Now as consequence, he was leaving, and I was left with nothing.

I quickly wiped the few stray tears from my face as I reached for the door handle. Suddenly, I realized that had been standing behind me the whole time, and still was. There in the thickly heavy silence that surrounded us, I could feel his breath against the skin of my neck. I stood there, completely frozen, as I waited and prayed for him to at least say something, but then I wondered if at this point, that would make any difference at all.

"Don't go Em." He pleaded, his voice cracking slightly.

'Then give me one good reason not to, one good reason why I should stay." I exclaimed in anger as I turned to face him, but never daring to meet his eyes.

"Because that's not what I meant." He replied softy.

"Then what did you mean?" I asked sharply still avoided his gaze, because, I knew but wouldn't admit to myself that if I did, the battle would be long lost.

He then took his hands, and placed his soft palms on both of my cheeks, forcing me to look into his shinning hazel eyes that were full of hope, pleading and regret.

We stood like this for a while, eyes locked, and foreheads almost touching, our bodies only a mere few inches apart. I stood there stiff; fighting the ever overwhelming urge to just melt into his strong arms, and just when I thought this couldn't possibly get any harder to fight…

"Come to New York with me." He breathed, just barely above a whisper.

I suddenly felt my knees go completely weak, and a cold shiver run down the length of my spine. My mind was swirling and spinning with so many thoughts that I couldn't even being to think, much less utter a single word.

After a long moment of dead silence, it finally hit me what he was asking. Yet, I still struggled to find the right words to respond with.

Finally, I slowly moved to close the mere few inches of space between us, and pressed my lips firmly to his. He was hesitant at first, almost as if he was unable to believe that this was in fact actually happening, and in all honesty, neither could I.

He was now kissing me back, with all the passion he could muster, no longer hesitant in his actions whatsoever.

I smiled into the kiss, and began nipping at his bottom lip, just as I had done earlier. I felt him stiffen and his muscles tighten, and he quickly pushed his tongue passed my lips as payback. I let out a squeak as I felt my knees buckle beneath me in a matter of seconds, and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck for support in order to keep upright

We stayed together like this for what seemed like hours, just wrapped contently in each other's arms, slowly battling for dominance, until we had to pull away because both of us could no longer breathe.

Our foreheads were pressed together, both of us breathing heavily as we took in huge gulps of air. I just starred into his eyes, totally mesmerized by him. In those beautiful hazel eyes however, I saw something completely different compared to what was there only several minutes before.

This time I saw love, and quite possibly, lust.

That's when I knew, that from that very moment on, my life would change forever.

"I'm ready." I whispered softly against the shell of his ear.

Without a single word, he lifted me carefully into his arms, and quickly ran back into his apartment.

From there he carried me swiftly to the bedroom, kicked the door open, and placed me ever so gently on the mattress. The pace of my heart quickened as I looked up and realized that he was now hovering above me, I just looked at him wide eyed, unable to speak.

He smiled at me softly, he knew that I was scared, and I assumed that so was he in a way, because we both knew that if this was going to happen, it would then change everything; forever. As a bit of reassurance, he took my face in his hands, kissing me long and slow, letting me know that he wanted this, that he wanted me.

A small moan escaped my lips, my weight now sinking into the fluffy mattress. Lying there, our lips still attached, I was now starting to feel a bit more comfortable, more confident. So, I slowly moved my hands down further down to his chest, where I lightly grazed my fingernails along the firm muscles that were beneath the fabric of his t-shirt.

He let out a growl in response, quickly moving his lips to work at the skin of my collarbone, and his skillful hands popped the buttons of my cardigan lose one by one.

After clothes were shed, making their way to a mess of heaps and piles on the floor, and endless, teasing and touches that had followed in it's place, we just lie there simply drinking each other in. We were now venerable, fully exposed to one another, simply seeing each other for who we really were.

Our eyes met after long moments of silence and exploration, and with one final nod, and his promises of love, our bodies came together as one. Gasps and sighs were the only sounds now that we could utter in the dark and dim glow of the moonlight.

/

His arms were wrapped tightly around me, as we basked in the afterglow, our breathing beginning to even out. I had never felt so whole in my entire life up until this moment, and I never wanted it to end.

"So I never actually did get an answer, Will said braking the last few minutes of silence between us. "Will you come to New York with me?" he asked with an ever so playful grin.

"Yes" I exclaimed with a loud giggle nuzzling my nose against his.

This had been better than any dream or romance novel possibly ever could be.

**More?**


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